


Three's Company

by ReginaNocis



Series: Obscure Love [35]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 02:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaNocis/pseuds/ReginaNocis
Summary: Darcy is pining for Tony and Steve when Sam catches her and makes a bet she just can't pass up.





	Three's Company

“It was a dark and stormy night. Isn't that how all of the good stories start? Anyways, we were all waiting for you to get back with the pizza when the power went out and Natasha ditched us all to die. And that is when all of your alcohol mysteriously disappeared,” Darcy told Tony, keeping her face completely straight. For once, she wasn't the culprit, and she wasn't giving him away. Tony deserved this for his earlier dick-ish-ness.

“I'm not buying any of that, especially since it's not even raining outside and Natasha hasn't left her spot on the couch in the last six hours. She's still there, right now, in exactly the same position she was in when I went down for the pizza,” Tony pointed out.

“That's my story and I'm sticking to it,” Darcy smirked. “Bite me.”

“I don't think Steve would appreciate me doing that,” Tony told her, completely serious.

“Did you ever figure out who he was crushing on?” Clint called from his spot beside Natasha, ignoring the spluttering protest of Steve, who was across the room in one of the chairs.

“Nope,” Darcy and Tony said together, grinning at each other.

“Idiots,” Natasha muttered, shooting them a fond look. “Where's my pizza?”

“Now you don't get any,” Tony told her, pulling plates out of a cupboard in the kitchen. They all knew he didn't mean it, though. He couldn't deny any of them something they actually wanted. He'd grown soft, and it suited him. That's why Darcy knew it was Tony that Steve was in love with, not her. And she was fine with it, really. No, she really was. (She'd always been bad at lying, especially to herself.)

“Did I tell you guys I'm leaving next week?” she asked, suddenly remembering. “My sister is getting married, and I'm going back to Pittsburg to help out and be a bridesmaid. Should be fun. I'll be gone for a couple weeks.”

“No, you didn't mention it,” Clint replied, dropping into the chair beside her. “Want company?”

“Not yours. No offense, but my family couldn't handle the Avengers. Not even just one of you. Trust me,” she replied, smiling. “I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss me.”

“Liar,” Tony frowned. “We miss you already.”

“I'm not even gone yet!” Darcy protested.

“You told us you were going, though. That's all it takes,” Clint informed her, grinning.

“You're all idiots. I agree with Natasha,” Darcy rolled her eyes. “And I will only miss her.”

“Liar,” Tony repeated, looking smug.

And there was the problem; she really would miss them. She was only supposed to stay here with Jane for a week at most, while her friend settled in and got her lab set up. But as soon as she'd arrived, Natasha had basically adopted her. Then Steve started asking her pop culture questions, and she'd insisted on movie days with him and Thor. And then Tony and Bruce started asking her for help in their labs, too. And finally, Coulson noticed that she was spending quality times with everyone but Clint and made him include her in target practice so she could learn how to use a weapon without shooting her own foot. And then Fury had given her a mean look and hired her as the Avengers' head PR lady. And now there was no chance she'd be leaving them permanently, because she couldn't function without them any more than they could function without her. They were her family. And if she had less than platonic feelings about two of them, well... that was her own problem.

“You are all horrible, have I mentioned?” she asked, stealing a slice of her favorite pizza before Steve could get to it. “And maybe I will miss you, but that still doesn't mean you can come with me. I'm not ruining my sister's special day. Diana has waited way too long for this.”

“Do you have plans for your own wedding?” Natasha asked, a sly look in her eyes. She was the only one who had guessed about her feelings, and she was horrible about it. But not usually when anyone could catch on to what she was saying.

“No,” Darcy replied. “I don't think I'll ever get married. I don't want a big day, because all of my days are big now.”

“You don't want to get married? Don't think you'll find the right guy? Or girl, whichever,” Clint asked.

“Maybe she already has and assumes she doesn't stand a chance,” Tony shot back, sitting down with his own pizza.

“Or maybe she doesn't want to,” Darcy said pointedly, taking her plate and heading for the elevator. “I have packing to do. Nat, you can come help later if you promise to be nice.”

“I am always nice,” Natasha said, keeping a straight face.

“I see right through you,” Darcy informed her as the elevator door closed.

  
  


~

  
  


Diana met her at the airport without her significant other, but with someone who looked vaguely familiar. She placed him right before her sister said his name.

“This is Sam Wilson, Jordan's brother. He's going to be the best man to your maid of honor, so you'll be spending a lot of time together. Thought you might as well meet now,” she said in place of a greeting.

“So you're already in wedding mode, great. Hi Sam, I've heard all about you,” she replied, shaking his hand when he offered it. “I'm Darcy, Steve's friend. I've been keeping him updated on this century.”

“Oh, I've heard about you, too! I don't know why I didn't make the connection,” Sam grinned. “It's nice to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure is  _all_ mine,” Darcy assured him, giving him an exaggerated once over. He flushed.

“Um... well this is awkward... I'm not really interested in women,” he stuttered, making her laugh.

“Don't worry about it, I was joking. We'll get along just fine, though,” she assured him, smiling at her sister. “Are we going home or what?”

Her childhood home hadn't changed at all. They were having the wedding in the backyard, even though Diana hadn't lived there in seven years. It would always be their favorite place. Her parents were also in full wedding mode, and Darcy jumped right in with the preparations. She even made sure to book a good club for her sister's bachelorette party, using Tony's card of course. He'd said she could use it for anything she wanted while she was home. She was sure he'd have fun teasing her about the club, but she didn't care.

Sam helped her with anything and everything, and she helped him find an appropriate place for a second bachelorette's party, because he was clueless about what his sister would like. They got close very quickly, and she was delighted to find out that he'd be coming back to New York with her to officially become an Avenger. Steve had been trying to convince him for months.

The only time she worried about anything back in New York was when she got the text alert from Pepper saying that the Avengers had assembled to stop Doctor Doom, because the Fantastic Four were doing something in deep space and couldn't get back. She spent that night in her room, sitting on the edge of her bed watching the live coverage on her laptop. Sam joined her after the first three hours, holding her hand and letting her cry on him. Pepper texted again at three in the morning to give the all clear and tell her that everyone was okay.

“Is it always like that?” Sam asked when she'd finished crying for the last time.

“It's easier when I'm there in New York. At least then I could potentially do something if they need help. JARVIS keeps me updated, and sometimes he lets me listen on the communication lines if I promise to be quiet and not distract them. I feel like I could help, you know? At least call in back-up if they're getting hurt. I have connections. Here... it's like if something happens, I can't do a thing about it. They could all die, and I'd blame myself because I'm not there to make it easier on them,” she admitted.

“So who is it?” he asked, giving her a sympathetic look.

“I don't know what you mean,” she tried, but it sounded hollow even in her own ears.

“You do,” he pressed.

“It's going to sound really bad,” she admitted. He gave her a look and she sighed. “Tony... and Steve.”

“Both of them?” he asked, looking surprised.

“Yes. And you want to know the best part?” she asked. He nodded for her to continue. “They have a thing for each other, not me. They've been flirting and having eye sex for weeks. They're perfect together, and there's no room for me. But I feel like... they're it for me, you know? And I don't think I could be happy with just one, especially knowing that they love each other. Natasha thinks I'm stupid, and has told me so many times.”

“She doesn't think you're stupid for the reasons you think,” Sam told her. “Steve talks about you all the time. Both of you. He likes you both the same.”

“That's wishful thinking, and unhelpful. I gave up on moving on, but I won't get between them, and I won't push for things they'd never want. I'm their PR girl, their assistant and friend. That's all. And I'm fine with it,” she stated, as she'd told herself many times before. Sam gave her that same look, but didn't call her on it. “You're a good friend. I'm glad you're coming back with me.”

“I think I can prove it to you,” he told her. She could see the beginnings of a plan written all over his face. “Are you a good actress?”

“Depends on what you need me to be,” she replied. “I can flirt like a pro, and I can hold a straight face. I just can't lie well.”

“We'll base everything on truth. How do you feel about being my temporary girlfriend?” Sam asked.

“But you don't like girls?” Darcy asked, frowning.

“It's fake, to prove to you that they both love you,” Sam reminded her. “We just have to flirt and act like a couple. We met here when you arrived, and we started 'dating' tonight, after watching footage of their fight and being worried together. Everything based on fact.”

“I don't think this will end the way you think it will, but I'm not against it,” Darcy replied after a minute of thought. “Sure, why not.”

  
  


~

  
  


The wedding went without a hitch, and Sam and Darcy were on the plane to New York the day after. She'd made it a point to only tell Natasha and Jane when she'd be back, because the others were too nosy for their own good, and those two wouldn't tell for anything. They were good friends like that.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sam asked for the third time since they got on the plane. “Last chance to back out before we land and have to start acting like a couple.”

“Would you knock it off? If you're sure we can pull it off, then let's do it! I still don't think you're going to prove the point you think you'll prove, but we might as well try. If nothing else, we can both get a laugh out of it,” she replied, grabbing her bag from the cubby above their heads. Sam immediately took it from her.

“They'll get our bags before we're even out there. Let me get this one. You just worry about your purse,” he told her with a smile.

“Are you sure you're going to be able to kiss me convincingly? You're gay, and all,” she asked, shouldering her purse.

“You let me worry about that, sweetheart. I'm sure we'll be fine. I spent a long time in the closet and have had girlfriends. I've even had sex with girls before, believe it or not,” he shot back, smirking. “We'll be fine. I'm not the one who will give us away.”

“If you're sure,” she said, leading the way down the ramp. She hooked her arm through his as soon as they were off the ramp, giving him a smile.

“I'm sure,” he replied, kissing her cheek. “Let's go find them.”

As it turned out, they'd already spotted them before they'd even managed to get off of the ramp. Tony and Steve were waiting, already holding their bags as Sam had said. None of the others were in sight, which was probably a good thing.

“Darcy!” Tony exclaimed, grinning. “Just the girl I wanted to see. I promise I didn't blow up the lab in your absence.”

“The fact that you led with that makes me think that really you did and you don't want me to ask about it. I can assure you that if you blew something up, JARVIS will tell me,” she told him, ignoring his immediate pout. His greeting meant that she'd missed whatever Steve had said to Sam.

“Listen, it's great to see you both, but can we go home already? I miss my apartment, and also Jane, so if we could move this along?” she asked, giving Tony a little push towards the door before looping her arm back through Sam's. “We're both tired and want to get settled in.”

“Of course. Wilson's suite is all set up, too,” Tony said, leading the way.

“That won't be necessary. I'm pretty sure he'll be staying with me,” Darcy replied, smiling sweetly. “We... bonded, over the couple weeks we had together in Pittsburg.”

“Yeah, got used to sharing living space. It would be weird to go back to being alone,” Sam agreed. Technically it was true. They'd spent so much time working together that they'd pretty much ended up sharing Darcy's room the whole time they were there, other than the first few nights. And he was right, it would feel weird to be alone again. If she got nothing else out of this, it would be a great new best friend and potential housemate.

“Oh... okay then,” Tony said, quieter than usual. “I guess I can work with that. I'll have the spare room aired out.”

“No need,” Darcy assured him, grinning. She couldn't see his face, but she could picture the scandalized face from memory. She expected a smartass comment about her holding out details, but she was met with silence. It was weird. “What, you didn't miss me as much as you thought you would?”

“Of course we did,” Steve assured her. “It's just been a long day. We almost got called out to take care of robot dragons, but the X-men beat us there. Tony spent the day in the lab, and I spent the day trying to get him out of it. You know how exhausting that is. I don't know how you do it every day.”

“JARVIS does most of that for me. You just have to have him shut things down one by one. When everything is powered off, he's a lot easier to persuade. Shiny things distract him,” she replied, still grinning.

“I resent that,” Tony told them, pouting again. “I am not a child.”

“Stop acting like it, and we'll stop talking about you like you are one,” Darcy told him. “What about Jane and Dr. Banner?”

“Bruce keeps himself in good condition, so I didn't have to do much with him. I reminded him to eat twice, because he only forgot twice. He went to bed every night on his own. Jane, however... that was tricky. Apparently, she'll only believe that Thor's returned once a week? Other than that, I had to actually carry her out a few times. Not my proudest moments,” Steve replied.

“You shouldn't mess with someone when they're in the middle of science,” Tony told him.

“No, that's just your opinion. We've talked about that, too,” Steve reminded him gently, resting his hand on Tony's arm. And Tony let him. Darcy had to close her eyes after a moment, trying to force the pain back. So she'd been right. Sam gave her a look when she opened her eyes again, assessing if she was okay. She nodded reassuringly, but apparently Steve had noticed her slip-up.

“Are you okay, Darce?” he asked, frowning slightly.

“I'm just tired, Cap. It was a long flight, and I didn't sleep much last night. Sam keeps me up too late sometimes,” she replied without thinking. When her words caught up to her, she blushed a bright red, probably matching Steve's shade. Sam just laughed.

“And whose fault was that? It was not my idea to put off packing,” he reminded her.

“We had better things to do!” she protested. “Do not blame me for that.”

“How about we share the blame?” Sam offered. Darcy pretended to think about it before she nodded.

“Deal,” she said, smiling slightly. She didn't notice the looks Tony and Steve were giving each other, because she was too focused on their banter.

By the time they got back to the tower, Tony had gone completely silent and Steve was grasping at straws for subjects that didn't involve wars and/or Bucky. Darcy had never seen them acting so strange, and she couldn't understand what was going on. Silence would be normal for Tony if he'd been tinkering with something or working some kind of equations on scrap paper, but he had nothing in his hands. He was just staring out of the window while Steve drove and Darcy watched.

Sam caught her eye a few times and grinned, like their unusual behavior proved something, but Darcy wasn't convinced this wasn't about something else entirely. The whole team was used to hearing about every aspect of her life, at all times. She'd never withheld information before, not even when she was traveling. If something big had happened, she either sent out a group text or tweeted about it. This time, she was coming home with a new (fake) boyfriend, with no warning or update at all. She didn't blame them for acting strangely about it. She expected everyone to respond this way.

Clint was waiting for them in the lobby. He pulled her into a tight hug, then gave her a wink and took her suitcase from Steve. "Natasha told me yesterday about your new guy. He treating you right?" he asked, giving Sam a very convincing once-over. Then again, maybe Nat had 'forgotten' to tell him that it was fake. She was allowed to have fun with this, too, after all.

"No complaints here," Darcy said with a grin. "I knew you'd miss me. I never get hugs."

“You don't ask for them," Clint responded immediately. "I am a very tactile person."

"I call bullshit," Tony told him, a ghost of a smile on his face. It was the first time he'd spoken since getting into the car, and Darcy was relieved by how normal he sounded.

"You don't get to," Clint smirked. Darcy shoved his arm lightly, warning him to be nice. He'd know that her next step would be verbal, and usually involve Natasha in some way.

"Behave, both of you," she told them. "My first stop is downstairs, to get Jane to take a nap. Meet me in my apartment, Sam?"

"Yeah, I'll be waiting. Do you share with Jane?" he answered.

"Nah, she's got her own with Thor, three floors down. If you think that means we won't hear them going at it when he gets back, you're sadly mistaken. Sorry," she replied. "Jane only stays with me on the nights that she gets depressed about her guy being in a different dimension or whatever. That won't be tonight."

"Good to know," Sam nodded, grabbing his own bag off of the ground where he'd sat it while they were all talking.

"Tell Natasha she's taking me out for a manicure tomorrow and I'll give her all the gritty details," Darcy called over her shoulder, knowing that Clint would pass on the message. She gave Sam a wink as the elevator doors closed, not missing the pinched look on Steve's face. What crawled up his ass?

~

"I told you they'd react badly," Sam told her as soon as she got off the elevator at her floor. Jane had hugged her and immediately let her lead the way to her own apartment, begging for details the whole way.

"They reacted that way because they're used to knowing everything in my life as it happens. I've never kept quiet about relationships, or anything else. This is a first for all of us. I expected this reaction from every single one of them. Clint must have gotten information from Natasha ahead of time. I know better than to spring things on her, or try to keep secrets. She'd have called me on it the second I set foot in the tower," Darcy replied, expecting the ambush.

"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" Sam asked, exasperated.

"Nope," Darcy told him with a grin. "Hey, J, where are Tony and Steve?"

"They are in the main common room. Shall I have them come to your floor?" JARVIS responded immediately.

"No need, J. I'm going up to surprise them. I missed them," she replied, grinning. "You get settled in, Sam. I'll be back in, like, twenty minutes and we'll order pizza."

"Got it. I can order now, if you want," Sam offered.

"Have them deliver it to the lobby, and I'll grab it before I come back," Darcy agreed. She missed his answer, already pressing the button for the penthouse to find Tony and Steve.

She was not expecting her first sight to be Steve holding Tony against the wall by the elevator, kissing him breathless. She stood frozen, hoping belatedly that her pain wasn't visible on her face as they both stared at her like deer caught in the headlights. She must have made a noise when she saw them, because they'd looked immediately. Or maybe JARVIS had warned them. It didn't matter. Darcy was glad that she was still in the elevator, because it was far to easy to slam her hand down on her floor number and sigh in relief as the doors immediately slid closed.

"JARVIS, lock down my floor. Have someone from the lobby call up to  _only_ my floor when the pizza gets here, and I'll send Sam down for it. I don't want to talk to anyone else, not even Natasha. Do not let Tony use his override codes. I claim Pepper's, and I know they overrule his," Darcy said as the elevator moved.

"Yes, Ms. Lewis," JARVIS replied. If robots could have emotions, he would have sounded a combination of sympathetic and totally judging her life choices. She knew she was.

Natasha found her way into Darcy's bedroom less than an hour later. She wasn't really surprised, because she knew that when Steve and Tony realized they couldn't access her floor, they'd enlist help. By the time they figured out that none of them could access it, she'd known that either Clint or Natasha would have thought of at least three ways in. She was expecting one of them, and she was glad it was Nat.

"Why are you hiding?" Natasha asked, her arms crossed over her chest in agitation. "Everyone is worried. This is yet another thing you've done today alone to hurt Stark and Rogers."

"Don't pretend you don't like them enough to use their first names," Darcy shot back. "We all know that's a lie. You let Steve draw you, and you haven't killed Tony yet."

"You are avoiding my question," Nat pointed out. Her face was blank, but Darcy could see the amusement in her eyes. She'd gotten good at reading the SHIELD agents since she'd started as the Avengers' PR manager.

"Yes, I am, because I'm being a child. I'm supposed to be with Sam, as far as anyone else is concerned, and I broke when I saw Tony and Steve kissing. Apparently, they didn't really miss me at all. It's cool, I knew it was coming. That didn't make it hurt any less," Darcy admitted.

"Oh, Darcy. You're so naïve, it's almost painful," Natasha said quietly. "If you could see them right now, you'd understand. They're both so worried about you. I think Steve was actually crying before he called us down, but I can't be sure."

"Now I know you're just lying to make me feel better. It's okay, Natasha, I'm a big girl. I just need tonight to adjust and I'll be back to my normal self tomorrow. You're welcome to stay for pizza if you want, but I'm not letting anyone else in," she replied.

"One day you'll see reason," Nat told her, shaking her head. And then she was gone, back through the vent that Darcy  _knew_ that Clint had shown her.

Sam was waiting for her in the living room, pizza open on her coffee table invitingly. He gave her a small, sympathetic smile and patted the couch beside him. "I thought we could watch The Princess Bride tonight, since you're not feeling the greatest. It always makes my sister feel better," he told her.

"You've seen her go through a lot of heart break?" Darcy asked, sitting and grabbing a slice of pizza. "You know, I eat an unhealthy amount of pizza. I'm woman enough to admit it."

"I don't think that's a hard thing to admit," Sam replied. "The whole country eats too much pizza. Arguably, the whole world."

"Preach it, bro," Darcy raised her pizza slice in a mock salute, grinning. She could almost forget what she'd just witnessed... until the Avengers alarm went off.

"Mr. Wilson, Sir has asked me to inform you that Central Park is under attack by what appears to be 'sky whales'. The team is convening on the flight deck in ten minutes," JARVIS said almost immediately. "Ms. Lewis, would you like your usual visual and audio?"

"Yes please, J," Darcy said, her voice shaking. "Please be careful," she added, pulling Sam into a hug.

"Come see me off?" he asked, looking hopeful. How could she say no to that? It could be the last time she saw him or any one of the others. She'd never missed an opportunity to see them off before, and one little witnessed kiss wasn't going to change that.

"Of course. You don't even have to ask. J, I'll be watching in the common room with Jane and Pepper. Tell them I'll meet them up on the flight deck with Sam," Darcy replied.

"Of course," JARVIS stated. She was sure the whole conversation had already been reported before she'd ever requested that. Tony was nosy on a normal day. It was time to be a big girl and face her feelings.

The whole team was already on the flight deck when they stepped off of the elevator. It had taken Sam exactly two minutes to change into his flight outfit, complete with wing pack. She could see that Nat was suited up when she walked over to give Darcy a rare hug.

"I'm glad to see you smiling," she whispered.

"I realized I can't be upset forever," Darcy whispered back.

"Don't disappear as soon as the fight is done. We all want to talk with you, but you need to speak with Tony and Steve above all else. I will drag you out myself if you try to lock yourself away again," Natasha informed her, pulling away.

"I don't think Pepper would let me run again," Darcy said with a sad smile. "She does  _not_  look happy with me."

"Nobody is happy with you, with the possible exception of Sam," Clint told her, stopping beside Nat. "You ready? Wheels up in three."

"I am ready," she nodded, lips twitching. "And I am flying tonight. You see better in the dark."

"I am so reminding you that you said that," Clint told her, grinning.

"Behave you two," Darcy told them halfheartedly. She was watching Steve make his way over to them, looking like a sad puppy. His pouting eyes were  _not fair._

"Darcy, why did you run earlier?" he asked quietly, watching as Darcy glared at Natasha and Clint's retreating backs.

"You seemed busy, and what I wanted wasn't important," Darcy replied, careful not to lie. Slight altercations to the truth were easier than outright lies.

"Tony and I had been wanting to talk to you, about... what you witnessed. But then you came home with Sam, and we figured..." Steve started, trying to find the right words.

"We didn't want to ruin a good thing when you deserve so much better," Tony butted in, wrapping an arm around Steve's waist. "Barton is getting impatient. Unless you're flying with me, you might want to leave this conversation until we get back." They both gave her regretful looks but she waved them away.

"Natasha threatened harm if I disappear again, so I'll be in plain sight when you get back. Go kick bad guy ass," she told them, smiling in a way she didn't really feel.

"We're holding you to that," Steve warned.

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't," she replied. She watched as they both left in their own ways, wondering if this was the beginning of the end of her life in the tower as she knew it.

She went inside when she couldn't see them anymore, and was immediately accosted by Jane and Pepper. “What the hell happened?” Jane demanded angrily. “I went up to see if you wanted to get margaritas with me, and JARVIS wouldn't let me stop on your floor! I had to go all the way up to the common area to find out that you'd shut everyone out!”

“All Tony said was that you saw something you didn't like and ran. We couldn't get him to elaborate,” Pepper added.

“Look, guys, it's no big deal. What's done is done. I'm sorry for locking you out, I just didn't want to talk to a couple of people and very much overreacted,” Darcy tried, hoping they'd accept that. They didn't.

“What the hell happened?” Jane repeated.

“You both know about my feelings for Tony and Steve, yes?” she sighed. When they nodded, she continued. “I went up to talk to them, because I missed them while I was gone. But when the elevator opened, they were making out right in front of me, and I couldn't handle the heartbreak. So I ran.”

“Oh, Darcy...” Pepper said, pulling her into a hug. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be. I knew they had feelings for each other, and I knew it would never happen with me, but I wasn't prepared to deal with seeing them like that yet,” she admitted. “It was my own fault. For some reason, I'd tricked myself into thinking the three of us could ever be something. It's not like that's even remotely normal to today's society much less the '40's.”

“When has anyone on that team ever been anything close to normal? You've got a Norse God, a man who grew up in the spotlight because of who his father was, a woman who was raised to kill people, a man who joined the circus when he was eleven, a man who spent his whole life creating the very thing that turned him into what he considers a monster, and a man who turned into a super soldier and then was frozen for seventy years. And you're not so normal yourself,” Pepper pointed out. Jane nodded along with her.

“Clint was in the circus?” Darcy asked, distracted. Jane glared at her until she sighed. “Fine, fine. So maybe it isn't out of the realm of possibility for a triad, I get it. Polyamory for the win. But just because it might not seem as weird to them as it does the rest of the world does not mean they want that with me.”

“It also doesn't explain why you'd want it,” Jane mused, and looked sheepish when Pepper glared at her. “Sorry, you both know the science aspect of just about anything intrigues me. I'm not a therapist, but I did take psychology classes in college. I found it interesting.”

“I learn something new about you every day,” Darcy told her, grinning.

“Why don't we ditch the guys and just elope?” Jane offered, smiling back. “Hell, we'll take Pepper with us and get a three way marriage. Polygamy is legal in Africa. We can go get married there and then come back here.”

“Jane, has anyone told you that you're crazy today?” Darcy asked sweetly.

“No, not today, why?” Jane replied innocently.

“You're crazy,” Darcy and Pepper said together, smiling.

“What makes her crazy today?” Clint asked, grinning and standing with the rest of the team in the doorway. “I mean, we all knew it already, but what happened this time?”

“None of your business, Barton,” Darcy told him, smiling back. “Easy fight, then?”

“Easier than last time, but Stark and Rogers wouldn't concentrate. Thor wiped out the robots pretty much by himself,” Clint told them, wincing when Natasha elbowed him in the ribs. “Okay, Nat contributed a lot, too.”

“Good to know some of you are good for something,” Darcy retorted, trying to keep a straight face. She failed, judging by the laughter from Pepper and Jane.

“We'll leave you to talk,” Pepper told her quietly, leading Jane out after letting her have a quick word with Thor.

“Come, let us prepare a feast for our victory!” Thor said as soon as the two women were gone. “My Jane has suggested pizza.”

“Yeah, we can order a few, buddy,” Clint said with a smile, linking arms with Natasha as they followed him out. Darcy was left alone with Steve and Tony.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Darcy asked, sinking back down onto one of the couches. Steve sat across from her, and Tony stood behind him looking amused.

“You look like we're about to kick your puppy or something,” he remarked. She rolled her eyes, but was distracted by a text as it came in.

_Sam: They know. I kind of accidentally outed us. Sorry._

“Well, damn. Look, it was Sam's idea, okay? He noticed my feelings and thought maybe he could help me. Actually, we had a bet going, which I've now won anyways. But I'm trying to get over it, okay? I'm not a home wrecker. I won't get between you,” she said quietly, shoving her phone back into her pocket roughly.

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked, confused.

“Sam thought you both had feelings for me, the same kind I've got for both of you. He caught me pining in my room back home, and he suggested the two of us 'date' for a while, even though he's gay and I lo- like the two of you. He thought it would prove to me that you both like me, too, and I thought it would be good for a laugh and to prove him wrong. I just wasn't prepared, earlier, which is stupid. I knew it was coming. It's fine,” she said in a rush, looking down.

“Darce...” Steve said, sounding surprised.

“You're insane,” Tony finished, still sounding amused. “You and Sam both, apparently. You were faking the whole time?”

“He didn't tell you?” Darcy asked, confused. “But he just said...”

“He played you,” Tony informed her. “He never told us anything. Actually, he disappeared before the fight even really started. Part of why Steve and I were so distracted during the fight is that we were looking for him. He didn't come back here?”

“No,” she replied, frowning. “And he better not for a while, because I might kill him.”

“I wouldn't kill him. It seems like this never would have happened if he hadn't stepped in,” Steve said thoughtfully.

“What wouldn't have happened?” Darcy asked, confused.

“This,” Tony replied, walking around Steve's chair and pulling her to her feet gently. And then he was kissing her, and she was kissing back, and it was almost perfect... and then Steve was kissing her as soon as Tony stopped, and it really  _was_ perfect.

“I... I don't understand,” she admitted when she'd caught her breath. “Aren't you together?”

“We got together shortly after you left for your sister's wedding. We realized pretty quickly that we were both missing you in the same way, and, well...” Steve started.

“You've all been talking about how the tension between us was sexual. We talked it out and decided that we wanted to give it a try, but we wanted you, too. So we've been dating on the condition that we'd ask you to join us at the first possible chance. And, if you only wanted one of us, we'd be discussing the possibility of a weird kind of triad... thing, in which you'd date whichever and we'd date each other,” Tony finished.

“I want you both,” Darcy replied immediately. “I have for a long time now.”

“Then I fail to see a problem here,” Tony stated, grinning. “Why did the kissing stop?”

“Tony,” Steve chastised.

“No, he has a point. Why  _did_ the kissing stop,” Darcy asked with a grin of her own.

“Oh god, now there are two of you!” Steve groaned, but he couldn't hide his own happiness.

  
  


~

  
  


“You all owe me money,” Natasha said smugly. The screen JARVIS had provided to show the interaction between Darcy, Tony, and Steve faded, giving them the privacy they'd want.

“No fair! You got Pepper and Jane to set this up!” Clint protested. Nat raised an eyebrow.

“And you still bet against me, knowing that I would do something to ensure my win,” she reminded him.

“Whatever,” he muttered, dropping a twenty in her hand. He'd already left the room when she pulled out her phone.

_Natasha: It's done, as planned. Mission complete._

_Sam W: Ha! Knew we could pull it off!_

_Natasha: Tell your boyfriend he owes me a drink. Russian vodka. The whole bottle this time._

_Sam W: Will do._

_James B: I'm paying up, but for the record, I only bet against you because I knew you'd make it happen if I did._

_Natasha: Smart man._


End file.
